How to achieve harmony

By The Mirror
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When man was created, God saw it was not good for him to be alone. In creating the woman, God saw what was lacking in the man and put it in the woman. A man and woman, therefore, have unique strengths and weaknesses.

There are some things only a woman can do better and there are some only a man can do better. In a relationship we combine our unique abilities by playing different roles at the same time to maximise our lives.
Call it harmony.

How to achieve harmony
Put the focus on yourself. A man must stand strong in his masculinity and a woman in her femininity. This also means you don't attempt to change your partner. Change yourself instead. As you improve, your partner, who is one flesh with you, gets better.

Stop blaming your partner. Know your partner very well: His tempera­ment, likes and dislikes. Treat your partner how he wants to be treated, not how you think he must be treated. This becomes easier if you tell each other what you expect in a relationship. You must make mutual decisions on all important issues, including sex, money, family planning, in laws and parenting.

Keep your roles active. A man should be the leader in a relationship. He must .also. love and know his woman. A woman should be submis­sive and a help mate. Men respond more to women who are open to care and love.

A woman who claims not to need his man breaks down his ego and threatens the relationship. It is also important for the woman never to assume the role of a leader even if she is older, richer or more intelligent. No man accepts this. You only create dis­cord.

Once you destroy natural roles, you lose the harmony in your relationship. If couples meet their partners' topmost needs, even when they disagree tem­porarily, harmony will persist.

Establish a work and relationship balance. No job can be more important than your relationship. If you give top priority to your marriage and play your roles well, other activities fall in place. It is a fact that a man defines himself by what he achieves and tends to focus more on work, but marriage should be the cornerstone of your life.

.Set boundaries. Certain issues within your .marriage must never be known to anyone else. This means you must never discuss what your lover discusses with you in private. Friends, co-workers and in-laws can create great discord in your relationship. Always remember that the two of you can handle all your issues. As much as possible, avoid third-party interve tions.

Give space and privacy to each other. Allow each other to look in and develop his unique identity. Too much time together can be stiffening and bor­ing. Harmony grows with your unique individuality.

It is important to appreciate that no, matter how much a man loves a woman, he occasionally withdraws from her. He needs space to solve problems. If there are issues he doesn't want to discuss, leave him alone. At the right time, after he has solved the problem, he will come out of his care a better lover.

Men and women are different, just like the black and white keys of a piano. Our differences do not meant better or worse, inferior or superior. We just play different and unique roles. Just as music sounds good only when the black and white keys are combined properly, so will your life be wonderful as you play your roles wel1.

Single life is like playing music with only the black or white keys. It is insufficient, and incomplete. Therefore, God desires that as far as possible, you marry to combine your unique abilities.

Play your God assigned roles to make your relationship sound good in your ears. Make every effort to live in harmony.

Credit: John Boakye (The Mirror) [E-mail: [email protected]