Do you have anything to declare?
Ghanaians have a good sense of humour and they give funny names to common things around them. For example, the black plastic bag is called "ewiase ye sum" (the world is dark) because nobody gets to know what one has inside unless one declares it.
We all carry some form of unwanted baggage at some point in time as we get into relationships. This may create problems because our partners may not be aware to deal with them.
We are born with the temperament that has weaknesses and strengths. Our history is made of our past events and experiences with family, friends, education and work that sharpen our lives. Our baggage becomes our emotional response to our history..
We may show selfishness, abuse, immorality, dishonesty, intolerance, poor communication and quitting habits.
Sometimes you may see your weaknesses as insignificant in your present or future relationships. You, therefore, tend to ignore or deny them and refuse to deal with them appropriately. Some experts call this undeclared luggage.
Do you have anything to declare? Until recently, passengers at the point of arrival in Ghana were asked if they had anything to declare. Passengers had options. Some lied about their luggage and tried to smuggle what they had into the country. Some, fearing arrest, refused to declare their luggage. Others declared exactly what they had and dealt with the consequences.
Lie about your past?
Similarly, when two people are about to enter into a relationship, they are asked to declare their past. They have options. A partner may lie, distort facts or hide a dark . secret for fear of losing a potential lover.
Fact is, dishonesty undermines moral character and endangers a relationship. If you lie, you must continue to lie until you are caught in the web of lies, which becomes a time bomb which will explode when you least expect it to destroy your relationship.
Anytime you tell a lie, you create a self wound which preys on your mind and prevents you from committing yourself to a relationship.
There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed. ff your partner gets to know your dirty past when all masks are off and he/she is not prepared to deal with it, you put your relationship at risk.
Come clean about your past?
You can decide to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about yourself. Truth may hurt but it creates transparency and allows your relationship to grow even in difficult times.
Be honest with yourself
Claim your baggage, open it, inspect it and unload the burdens in your life. Tell your partner everything about your past.
As you open up your weaknesses, you bring up your awareness and your determination to deal with them. Confess your past and help your partner to help you get better. You can have a bad start but a fulfilling future relationship.
Clean up anything that is weighing on you before you get into a serious relationship. A relationship is not a magic wand to take away your unwanted luggage. Instead, it has enough problems that put more unwanted baggage on you as you try to establish couple identity.
If you have a past, say so. Bum it to its roots and replace it with a positive mental attitude, commitment, honesty and a forgiving spirit.
Cast all your unwanted luggage unto the Lord. He will lighten your burden and free your soul.
Credit: John Boakye
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