Why Nollywood marriages crash-----Bukky Wright
Bukky Wright was right on spot when she paid courtesy visit to our headquarter on love and acting. as always she was frank and unpretencious with each of the question.
Tell us one, what about the lesbian one?
Well on the lesbian one, I told them no problem if they believed I was a lesbian. I remember then that I said it that I wished the writer was a lady so that I could give her husband the chance and see if that man will go back to her. Seriously it is crazy. Now they say I am in love again with Donald Obaseki that I don't even know. The other one was when they said that Governor Gbenga Daniel battered his wife because of me.
Can you imagine? Over time, I don't let things like that bother me because I have always said that life is a race and if you want to win a race, you don't mind opposition. So if you want to succeed in life, don't let side talks bother you. It no longer bothers my chil- dren because they are grown up. They know me better. Just like the day my son came back from school and he told me that his friends told him that I was broke. This was around the time I actually bought two cars in one day. So, when his friends told him I was broke, my son said he told them I had just bought two new cars. Can you imagine? It is better for your family to know you. That is why when I am not on location, when I am not working, I spend more time with my children. That is why I am more of a private person, even their friends are always surprised that I am simple and friend- ly. We dance Alanta together, do dancing competition and I feel like throwing a party, we just call a few friends, cook food, after which I could visit the motherless babies. I like visiting the less privileged. Those are the things I do rather going to parties.
Was there anyway your being a star has affected your children negatively? I have never regretted being a star for once. But there are times when I went go to pick my children from school and their friends will be asking them; 'So you are Bukky Wright's son?'And they will say mummy please don't come and pick us again. You can't even get to go and pick your children in school. There are days people would talk to me anyhow in their presence and they would be defending me. Inside me I would be thinking, oh I sold my respect. I traded it for stardom.
Has bad press affected them?
Yes, especially that lesbianism thing, because they knew the girl in question.
So what did they do?
Did they ask you if the story was true? They were just wondering why the fuss. The girl happens to be like my adopted daughter. She was living with me. She is married now with two children. She was like a big sister that my children never had. So when they heard the story, they were disgusted.
What did they think you should have done?
Funny enough, my second son reads the Bible. He is like a pastor, he will just be preaching to you. The two of them advised that I should not let it bother me. Even the girl in question was both- ered. She told my sons that she knew Mummy was feeling bad about the story. (She calls me mummy). She said she overheard that she I want- ed to send me her away and she wondered why?
What are the things you miss outside of marriage?
What did I miss? I have always been a person that wants a home; me, my husband and my kids. Those are the things I have always wanted. I have always wanted a perfect wedding.
Why did you think it never happened, your errors, or your man's errors?
Hmm. I just believe God did that for a purpose because prob- ably I have been making wrong choices and he has something better for me. Are you thinking of going into another marriage? Am I thinking of going into another marriage? I've thought about it.
Is there a new guy around that we don't know?
You know you are well put together, you are beautiful, you are hardworking, and don't you get pressure from governors or highly placed people?
Well I thank God because if you are not being pressurized, that means you are not beautiful and you are not hardworking, because I don't think anybody wants to go for a liability.
How would you describe Nigerian men based on the experience of your two marriages?
Nigerian men? They are wonderful people.
(General laughter) There is nothing like all men are dogs?
Wonderful people because even if I decide to marry today, I don't intend to marry a white man. And I believe there is a won- derful man out there for a wonderful woman.
Could you give ten tips for a woman about to get married?
First, you should be tolerant. Before being lovers, you should be friends. You should be loving and loving of course, is nice forgiving enduring, but like I said, fall in love with your eyes wide opened. It does- n't have to be because of money but you guys should at least have a bal- ance.
She shouldn't be richer?
No, even if you are, you can be richer than your husband but you know that your husband is hardwork- ing and has prospects. You can't say you are rich and marry a lazy man that will just squander your money or does not know how to work for money. It doesn't mean because the man is not rich, he doesn't know how to work for money, fingers are not equal. Above all things, look for a God-fearing man because if a man fears God, he would fear you as a human being. He should be a very accommodating per- son. Take his friends as yours and encour- a g e them to come to your house and be accommodating yourself.
Apart from every other thing, you should be homely because if you are a kind of person that always wants to be on the street, you don't ever see anything that will want to make you go back home, it is not a good quality for a woman, that is why you should make your house as comfortable as possible so something drives you back home. You should also have the spirit of togetherness. And one thing, don't separate your rooms. Make sure you have one room so even if something happens, you will still sleep together in that room and somehow you still get to talk about it. And you'd get to fin- ish it. Don't sleep over quarrel.
Why do you think Nollywood marriages crash? Is it because men can't stand stars?
One thing that I've noticed again is that a lot of Nigerian men are not confident enough to marry successful women. Success doesn't have to do with wealth. Most Nigerian men are not con- fident enough because if you are so confident you will believe that no one will take your wife away from you.
Is it true that most actresses are unfaithful to their partners?
I don't believe that. Are you telling me that journalists are not faithful to their husbands?
I think it is an individual thing.
Exactly! I want you to answer that question yourself that is why I asked you. It is just an individual thing. It is just the fact that we are out there in the public. Are marriages between lawyers not breaking? What about doctors and nurses?...
(Cuts in) ...But it is faster in Nollywood.
That is not true because these are the people you see, that you hear every day. So that is why you think so. Just like when they say too many artists are dying but because almost everybody knows almost all the artists. Do you get it? Everybody in Nigeria knows them, so if anything happens to any one today, they know. But a doctor that is living even next door you don't know.
They said people in Showbiz don't take care of their health; you guys just work until you break down on set.
Are you telling me that you have not heard of a doctor that died in the hospital taking care of other people? So what are we talk- ing about? It is just an individual thing. Are you trying to tell me that no journalist has been heard die on the job?
No don't come to our own area.
(Laughing) Why not?
There was a time it was happening; now it is no more hap- pening because we were not conscious we are all now conscious of the fact that we were not all taking care of ourselves. We were not; we were having editors dying in their offices.
I know it is just an individual thing. Yes, but it is just an indi- vidual thing. We don't know how many people are born today and we don't know how many people have died today because we are the mail that travels faster than we the carriers of the mail. We thank God they are not saying the young ones are dying again like they were alleging that they were being used for rituals or whatever. I just know that whatever it is, it is not my portion.
Can you act nude?
N10 million, N20 million?
No, not even for $1 billion. But it doesn't mean someone else can't do it. Just like I said, it is an individual thing. I may not have the guts, but somebody else might have it. If that is the role that has to be played for people to know what they are talking about, so be it.
Omotola said people's body moves if playing romantic roles. Have you had it to that physical point with a male hugging, kissing on set?
I don't even feel it because before I even go on that stage, I know what I am going to do. So it is a pre-meditated thing because you have read the script. Except you have some- thing else in your mind. So I don't. It is funny I might work on set with some people and don't see them until we meet on another set.
So what your the highest fee?
My highest fee is millions, my lowest fee is thousands.
Which set is this?
You know it is dangerous in Nigeria to disclose such thing. So you want to act for the rest of your life or there is a retirement plan? Really, I don't intend to retire until I am tired.
So there is no retirement plan? What do you spend your money on, considering that you won't always be able to have this beautiful face? What are you investing in for the raining days?
That is why I am tying my money down on other businesses. You know about a salon in my beauty line and I have a studio.
Are you into sports?
So what will be your advice for young actresses coming up?
There seems to be too many people coming to act these days. What is it that they will need to have? They should have the ability to diversify and the ability to stay focused. They don't have to come into the industry because their friend is into acting. You don't have to come into the industry because you want to be known. You don't have to come into the industry because you want to go travel out. No, that is when you won't do it the proper way and that is why you would wither away because you have a motive for coming into the industry not for the love of it. But if you so much love the industry and you really love what you do, against all odds, you would stand out.
What about the sex for role thing?
Just like I said, things like this depend on the individual. Adoc- tor can ask a nurse out, if that is not your motive or your intention in the industry because I believe if a man sleeps with you today and lets you play a major role, that means for you to act in every movie, they have to sleep with you because that means you are not sure of what you have. You are not good enough. But if you are good, you meet more producers, your job will always speak for you and you will always get good jobs. And I would always tell people when they say they've not been seeing me in many movies these days, I tell them I can't just be acting.
They said it is because of you that they are buying.
I was coming to that, if you feel you want a Bukky Wright and you can afford to pay her, she would be on your set. And for you to want to pay Bukky Wright such huge amount of money, you should know the kind of script you have, you should know the kind of people you want to have in your movie and you should have a projection for that movie, because you won't just want to spend money on that movie and throw it in the garbage.
So how much is it going to cost me to put you in my movie?
The only compromise I would have is when I read a script and I can't drop it. I have a script here. It is written by Mamod Ali Balogun. These are the kind of movies I want to do. I don't take a script because I want to be everywhere. I don't just take a movie because I want to take so and so amount of money. I have a name to protect. Bukky Wright is brand that needs to be well kept and preserved.
So there are certain scripts you won't touch?
Not for any amount?
Not for any amount. There are lots of scripts that I even hike my price for it because I know they cannot pay and I want them to go because I don't want to do it.
Someone said you should not have fallen in love with someone like Bolaji Basia?
It is my past and I don't want to go back to it. But I will just tell anybody that wants to fall in love, they should fall in love with their eyes wide opened with a pair of glasses
Okay, who is your ideal man?
My ideal man should be gentle, hardwork- ing, honest, God-fearing loving kind and hum- ble
Not a womanizer?
Of course not!
But Nigerian men do something on the other outside
Well it doesn't mean he won't, as long as I don't see, I don't want to know.
If you see it, what will happen?
I don't know. If he must do it, he should keep it away from at least that gives me a lot of respect.
Are you going to try and be a mother again?
I don't know about that. But I think age is not really on my side