I Kill Ram Yearly For My Husband’s Remembrance - ...Regret Ever Marrying From Adeboye’s Family - Lar
Mrs. Omolara Adeboye, widow of the late comedian, Gbenga Adeboye, in this interview with ADELOWO OLADIIPO speaks on the relationship between her and her in-laws as well as plans to commemorate the fifth anniversary of her husband's death.
Madam, please can you introduce your self?
I am Mrs. Omolara Gbenga-Adeboye. We are blessed with three children, two boys and one girl.
In a nutshell, my late husband and I met in a church prior to our courtship and eventual marriage as husband and wife.
He was invited by the church leadership and I was also invited separately for personal recognition. And since he died, the Lord has been faithful to us by taking care of us, his family. If I must also make a confession , the Lord has been our strength because we have been managing and surviving to the glory of God Almighty against the expectation of our adversaries.
Prior to your meeting the late husband, what was the level of your attainment?
Before I met him, I had already graduated as a Higher National Diploma holder in Accountancy from the Federal Polytechnic, Ilaro, Ogun State in 1991; we met in 1992 and got married in 1993, barely after one year of a very stimulating and exciting courtship.
Can you tell us your experience as a widow since he died about five years ago?
Frankly speaking, life has been life and sometimes life can be fair and it may not be fair at times. Since then, there have been ups and downs for me and the children but we are surviving the travails. I am glad that the Lord has always been there for us, taking care of us.
Are you from the same state with your late husband and can you describe the relationship between you and his family since he passed on?
I am from Ijebu Ososa, Ogun State while he was a native of Ode-Omu in Osun State. But since he died in the year 2003, after his burial and after I had observed the widowhood rites by staying indoors for almost 40 days, a lot had happened since then between his family and me, as well as our three children.
But I cannot speak for my late husband's older children that he had before we met. Let us say that precisely about three to four months after his demise, members of his family were not visiting me and my children. There has been much crisis between us since they adopted that negative attitude towards me and my children; I have not been seeing them and they are no longer looking for my children.
What can you say has been responsible for the not so cordial relationship between you and your in-laws?
Well, with all sense of humility, in a family where you have just one breadwinner, and the breadwinner dies, a lot of problems would crop up as soon as that breadwinner dies, especially for the widow.
I also blame the problem that has created the gulf between us on poverty. With due respect to the memories of my late husband, I want to say without mincing words that his family is poor, that is why they have been waging war against me and my children so that they can dispossess us of his property. In fact, without my husband there would have been nothing for them because they were all dependent on him when he was alive.
So if they were all comfortable in that family, if my husband's younger ones had their own houses and cars, I am sure they would not have behaved the way they did right after the death of my husband.
I attribute the grouse against my children and me on the rivetting poverty in the family.
How would you react to this alleged ill-treatment meted to you and your children by your late husband's relations?
In fact, I make bold to tell you that in my own family, we are more enlightened, there is a great difference between the two families; we are a lot more civilised and much more educated with many elites, unlike they.
I am also from a very strong and influential family. We hail from the chieftaincy family of Chief Onimole in Isale Eko, who is a white cap traditional chief in Lagos.
And on the side of my father at Ijebu-Ososa in Ogun State, we have the Onamutis, the Folarins and other influential people too numerous to mention.
Some of my cousins once said that there was a need for me to respond to all the negative things being said against me in the media by my late husband's family. But my response to my cousin's suggestions was that there was no need for me to join issues with them because of the respect and love I still have for my late husband whom I know would have also groaned in his grave over the attitude of his family towards me and his beautiful children.
They sympathised with me and stated emphatically that they could not have coped with such a family were they in my shoes.
Though I felt the pain, my reply has always been that I am not regretting marrying my late husband because he was such a good partner and apart from that, I had my three beautiful kids for him, children for whom I always pray to God to make superstars in all their endeavours when they grow up.
But it is quite unfortunate that both my husband and my kids came out of that kind of family. I have, however, accepted to bear my cross.
Can you clear the air surrounding the rumour that you once planned to marry a producer immediately after the widowhood rites?
I have cleared that several times. The promoter you are talking about is Gbenga Adewusi. I want you to be wise and intelligent about this.
It is exactly five years now since my husband died. They have said all sorts of negative things about me and Adewusi, even to the extent of raining curses on us, accusing us of demeaning the great memories of my late husband.
They thought that by so doing something bad would happen to him or to me. But there was no iota of truth in their suspicion about the relationship between the producer and me.
Today, go and look at the life of that young man that they have been trying to attack because of me. At that material time five years ago, Gbenga Adewusi did what God asked him to do for my children. He had no ulterior motive to do any selfish thing with me, just because I am a woman who had just lost her husband.
And on my part too, God knows I wasn't trying to yield to the demands of the flesh by trying to have an unholy affair with the man.
I am sure that God was very, very happy with him for having compassion for me and my fatherless children after we had been deserted by my husband's relations over his property, which he single-handedly put together from the sweat of his labour.
And if since the past five years, in spite of their curses, that something negative should happen to him, God has rather continued to uplift him, giving him extraordinary breakthroughs in his endeavours and surviving all their diabolical plans, I think we should put this question to rest.
And if I am still alive today and nothing evil has happened to me or my children, we should all know that definitely God has been there for us, our shield against satanic attacks.
Whatever they might have said against Gbenga Adewusi, it was just because they wanted to drive him away from me and my children. They knew he had thrown his weight behind me and that he was supportive of me and that he did not want them to cheat me concerning my husband's work while he was alive.
Even when they now realise that the man was sincere in his support for me and the children, they have still continued to launch attacks on him.
Have you any plans to re-marry in future and is there any seeking your hand in marriage?
How do I answer that question? Right now I am not planning to re-marry and I have never planned to remarry since I lost my husband five years ago. From the outset, I have always said I have no plans in re-marrying because God has blessed my late husband with two handsome boys and a beautiful girl.
But this could have arose from the initial grief and pains that first came from suddenly losing a loved one?
But that does not imply that I am getting ready to re-marry now. I may give it a consideration in the future when my children are grown-ups and in a position to stand on their own.
Of course, I might re-marry, if God says I will re-marry because even according to the Holy Bible as a young widow, the Bible says I have the right to re-marry.In the Holy Quran, it is a sin to be single five years after the demise of one's husband.
Several men have been coming and asking for my hands in marriage but that is not my focus now.
Has anyone sought your hands in marriage in recent times?
Yes, there have been people coming to ask me to marry them. But that is not my focus now.
What preparation are you making for the fifth anniversary celebration of your late husband?
I am planning to throw a very big celebration party in affectionate memory. Usually, I mark his remembrance every year in this house, people who have identified this with me trooping in and out of the house from morning till the evening.
He died on April 30, 2003 but I usually do the remembrance anniversary on the day he was buried. And that was the 14th of May 2003. Since then I slaughter a ram every year whenever I am marking it. I usually mark it with light food, like snacks and the rest of it. But this year's remembrance anniversary is going to be different.
Are you also aware that some of his relations and friends are also planning an elaborate ceremony to mark the fifth anniversary?
I am not aware of that because they are not carrying me along in their plans and I am not in support of what they are planning for my late husband because I know they are thieves and a bunch of rogues.
Since my husband died these people have not shown any concern about my children and I and how I have been paying their school fees.
All they are after is how to enrich themselves at the expense of the immediate family members of Gbenga Adeboye particularly I and my children.
And like I always say the cause of all this is poverty on their part. They are all shylocks who want to reap from where they did not sow. As the legal wife with three children, I don't think that they have any right to say that they are planning an elaborate remembrance party for my late husband without putting me in the know.
They have neither carried me along nor sought my consent. But come to think of it, how can they carry me along now since they have not been doing so for the past five years. But I know that whatever they sow they are going to reap because I know the God I am serving.
These people who have consistently marginalised me and my children since the demise of my husband can never get the support of my late husband even in his grave. When they start seeing the repercussion of what they have done unjustifiably to me and my children, people will cry for them because they are not doing the will of God.