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DISTASTEFUL!

By NBF News
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Bra palaver
What actually got our fashion police angry was that you wore this dress with so much confidence. We were eventually told that during interrogation you feigned ignorance. But ignorance is not an excuse in this court , because wearing visible straps with an alter neck dress is punishable under section 267 of 178 style constitution. Pay a fine of N500, 000.

Expired goods
We have received series of petitions concerning your case from style rights activists that you have been unrepentant for so long. We have decided to look into your case and we're short of words because all evidence brought in by the prosecuting counsel shows that you are guilty. For showing-off your boobs that has suckled four university graduates, you have been fined N1million.



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New yams?
We all know it is the new yam season but what we do not understand is the reason why you have to flaunt this tuber of tattoo yams in public. In order to give you a fair hearing we went to put the exposed exhibit on a scale and our experts confirmed our fears. We were told that, those arms alone weighed 25kiliogram. Mummy you really have no business flaunting them. For your punishment, you will be transported in a black Maria to Benue state where you will help in harvesting yams. You won't be

released until next
planting season.


Confusionist
When you were brought into the courtroom you caused a lot of confusion because the court was divided. All male jurors were carried away due to your careless dressing while their female counterparts couldn't understand why you had to reveal so much. This honourbale court hereby finds you guilty and you have been sentenced to spend three months on Zuma rock, where you would be mandated to jog around every morning.



Excess luggage
Madam, it's so obvious that you didn't get the right fit because if you did, you won't be left with these excess luggage here and there. We need no microscope to tell us that your skin, veins, muscles and ribs are all screaming for help. Why won't you end up with two extra sized breasts? Explain to this honorable court why are spoiling Lagos.

Pay a fine of N800, 000.


Fake off-shoulder
Is this an off-shoulder blouse or is it that your tailor didn't get the right measurements? How do we explain to the general public that you couldn't get a grip on your blouse? That explains why your bra straps are all over the place. For fair hearing, we hereby summon your tailor to appear before this court at the next hearing. Until then you are to remain in our custody.