GIVE UP CAREER TO MAKE BABIES?
Yemisi just lost her marketing job which could have turned her life around. She got the job three weeks after her wedding. Her husband expected her to settle down and start raising children. Well, it was not a bad idea after all, since that's what God really wanted. Soon after, she became pregnant .
On this fateful day, her boss called her into his office and asked her if she wanted to continue with her job or not. The question seemed innocuous, but tricky. She wanted to keep her job of course, but she couldn't decipher her boss' line of thought and she didn't know how to respond. Shortly after, she was handed a sack letter.
Yemisi lost her job for getting pregnant so soon after being employed. She was quite stunned and she couldn't fathom what had happened to her or why it should happen. In other climes women could have and raise children and it wouldn't affect their jobs. As a matter of fact the standard procedure is to ask a pregnant woman to proceed on maternity leave when her delivery date gets nearer.
What was Yemisi's offence? In this part of the world not every employer observes the standard procedure. This has made couples to debate the appropriate time to start a family. Some husbands simply tell their wives to face child bearing and defer everything else. For some others, wives can combine career with child-bearing. Familyline took a short survey on this unusual controversy and presents the responses below. Excerpts:
Whatever makes me get married, will surely make me father a child that same year, God willing.
Before I finally get married, I think we should have reached agreement termsduring courtship. These are some of those vital issues couples are expected to discuss to forestal problem(s) thereafter.
Secondly, after the wedding , everyone in both families, relations and friends start counting months and once it is nine months they expect at least a child out of the wedlock.
Parents at this time would not understand any agreement you may have had with your wife.
But for me, there is no stopping-over or deferment after marriage.
I would allow my wife take her time and concentrate on her career first.
What if she works in the bank and we all know rules that govern most of these jobs, especially someone in the marketing department.
Some organizations would really specify before you are recruited that you must not get pregnant in the next one or two years. So would I want her to lose her job when there is more time for making babies? Definitely no.
It is simply understandable. I am not really bothered about this, but I want comfort for her and job security.
What do you think? The rib I have been keeping and nurturing during our courtship must bear fruit soonest after our wedding for I've kept the commandment of God saying 'let not the bed be defiled'. So the D-day has just come and you want me to defer becoming a father? It is not possible.
To paraphrase the Bible in Gen. 1:28, it says go, multiply and subdue the earth . This is not possible, except under a very strong and serious circumstance that is supported by God.
It is simply an agreement between my husband and I. But sometimes it is hard to decide.
I have to listen to my husband and he would reason with me .
For example, if I was in school before we got married and after marriage he chose to make babies, on my part I know it might not be that easy, but I will plead for more time to put myself together. After all he wishes me well in my endeavours.
Basically, I might have reasons for beginning child-bearing immediately after my wedding, but it has to be a mutual agreement between my husband and I. I want you to know that I cannot make myself pregnant but he must have reason(s) for deferring child-bearing.
I think I can agree with his line of reasoning; it is just like family planning. You control the rate at which you make babies for certain reasons beneficial to you both.
I can defer child-bearing, provided something reasonable warrants it and we both agree on it. For example there are firms that require that a woman should not be pregnant at least within the first two years of gaining employment with them. Secondly, sometimes you might want to relocate abroad and if at the embassy your pregnancy is noticed, it might disqualify you from getting a visa.
No parent or in-law can interfere as it is a personal issue. They should just understand.
Well, it all depends on whether I am a student or a career woman. But peradventure I am a full housewife, I do not think I would defer child-bearing.
At the same time, there are instances when you and your husband might want the best for your children. In other words, you might want them enjoy the very best in life . In such cases you might wait a while for better days to come.
The right time for raising kids is immediately after marriage. I rather would defer my marriage than marrying and not making babies immediately. If that is the case, why marry early in life when you do not need kids early enough? What is worth doing is wort doing well.
Actually it all depends on the individual because I happen to be a student. There could be this tendency to hold-on or if I happen to be working in any of such organizations that orders me not to be pregnant for at most three years, I can also comply.
Aside these two conditions, I will gladly take-in, because it is a gift from God.
Before I ever think of marriage, I would have reached an agreement with my husband on the issue to avoid any unforeseen circumstances.