Liberated Wives Like Husbands Dare Sex For Any Or No Reason

Watch out! Rush for sex on a Kitchen table, in cars or the beach may mar everlasting joy. Attractions to perfect bodies like the ones on TV or magazines are like drugs. Once is not enough, when we desire more to top the previous, we rationalize it. So encounters are never equal, an average experience less than ecstasy, may lead to remorse, withdrawal and repeat. More desires for sexual bliss is the road to a compulsive addictive behavior.

Those that are blaming infidelity on equal pay and disparities, loneliness, age gaps, long hours with opposite sex on the job, monogamy or polygamy alone to justify the sudden rush for physical attraction missed the thrill to dare for any or no reason at all. Any man or woman know the consequences of his or her action when caught and still go ahead and do it. Of course the wish not to get caught is always there but so is the penalty.

There is much more to it when husbands and wives separate in all kinds of code words for infidelity in the marriage. It ranges from irreconcilable differences to cruelty. Some of them right in the public glaze. The most painful ones are those we thought were the best couples to emulate as in Mandela and Winnie or the uncrowned winner of US 2000 Presidential election, Al and Tipper Gore or Prince Charles and Diana.

There are others, not so famous or so open to the public. A Kenyan caught his wife in the act with a Pastor and forced both of them into public glare humiliation. A Nigerian Oba tried to humiliate his wife by personally participating in her beating in public place, an abomination, no matter what the offence of his wife. There are also rumors about the pregnancy of the wife of South Africa's President for a bodyguard.

Some people may be limited to one but others have a few compulsive behaviors that may not be restricted to sex drive. When people are talking about the most exhilarating sex they have ever had, it varies from kinky sex to aberrations. Those habits, if sustained may not be compatible with monogamous or polygamous family. Clubs are formed for people with special interest like swingers and bizarre sexual relationships.

Therefore, anybody, group and advocacies can come up with reasons or excuses after the fact to justify a behavior that is destroying families everywhere. If we enter into a relationship under certain premise of monogamy, swingers, polyandry or polygamy and build a family based on any of these; looking for justification to violate that agreement, norm or custom is what threatening 50 percent of those faithful to monogamous life.

We have many others but the overriding point is the infidelities of the women that are not different from those of men tolerated for centuries. As women have certainly come a long way, so are men because their strongest defenders of these women are also men. If anything, liberated women are catching up with their husbands' infidelities.

Penalties must conform to the rule of law and not an excuse to disfigure, maim or kill a weaker partner. Indeed taking the law into individual hands blocks objectivity. So men have paid heavy fines in court for alienation of affection through others. We have to admit that sociological cost for women is also enormous in being a single parent and all the studies about adversity the children are subjected to. As for biological clock, it cuts both ways for cougars and tigers.

There are also stereotypes and racist stigma. Those noted for the disappearance of their wives are used to stereotype white men as if Africans and Asians do not. So are some stereotypes about Asian men and underage girls prompting sex travelers to Asia looking for virgins. African men are stereotyped as typical examples of polygamy though it is the most common form of marriage practiced in the world compared to serial monogamists.

In spite of the advantages of having a man or a woman to oneself in monogamy only 50 percent of world minority population sticks to it while the other 50 percent cheat. It is polygamy that is the norm in most countries with less divorce rate. Even in countries where monogamy is the rule, it is not unusual to have virgin girls advertising for the highest bidder, married or not, to pay for college or some necessity important to her. If a man thinks that would be his greatest desire and he has the money, he would pay.

Even our children know the difference and sometimes cast their support in favor of one of the parents. Since they are also the losers, they resist dislocations and whoever they see as the home wrecker. The psychosocial trauma on them, which some may outgrow can be enormous. But then, we may not listen to our children and the way others expect us to behave all the time at the expense of individual liberty or family values.

At some point, most men outgrow the kinkiness of sex and come to appreciate it as the goal of a ceremonial exchange of friendship. If he has seen it all or done it all, women may mean a different being to him than in the days he would want just to discharge and get it over with or move on to the next challenge. Indeed some men value the friendship more than the sex claiming that sex raises expectation and obligation above what they can deliver. Indeed, African men take care of windows' kids they never have sex with.

Women say they get better not really outgrow sex. But we also know that like men, as they grow older, they desire a best friend they can share their time with. Even cougars know those boys are not matured enough to satisfy all their needs beyond temporary sexual relationships. Some women complain that men hardly mature and may not be contented with the best they have at home because the challenge to conquer is gone.

It boils down to the fact that sex, the root cause of infidelity or irreconcilable differences may have a short shelf life not worth disrupting a whole lifetime of friendships for. As for those who stayed married, surveys point out that even though they desire more sex than whatever they are getting, they would not take the risk and lose their relationships.

Disclaimer: "The views/contents expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect those of The Nigerian Voice. The Nigerian Voice will not be responsible or liable for any inaccurate or incorrect statements contained in this article."

Articles by Farouk Martins Aresa