Husband = House Band
The word husband comes from some Anglo-Saxon words which meant a “house band.” This implies a strip of metal {or rope} used to bind houses together. Biblically, a husband is a man in a legal marriage – GEN. 3:16; PROV. 12:4; JERE. 3:20; 1 COR. 7:2-3; EPH. 5:33. A husband in such a marriage is scripturally a man who consciously, knowingly and willingly takes a woman for wife.
The New Testament allows every husband one wife per time – 1 TIM. 3:2; TIT. 1:6. In marriage, two lives are bound together as one. Only a woman legally married to one man was recommended by Paul to be enrolled for relief as a widow – 1 TIM. 5:9.
The primary duty of a husband is to bind the home together in terms of organization and control – 1 TIM. 3:4-5.It is the man’s duty to rule his home spiritually because man is first and foremost a spirit being, a God – GEN. 1:27; PSA. 82:6; JN. 10:34. His house is a house of Gods! – GEN. 3:22; PSA. 82:6.
Companionship was the primary purpose of God in instituting marriage – GEN. 2:18. God enjoins the husband to love his wife unconditionally. A husband must bind his house in love. Tolerance is required on his part because the wife is a weaker vessel. A husband must bind his house socially; he must determine beneficial relationships that can profit the family spiritually. Every wife must unconditionally recognize and give heed to this covenant assignment of a husband in marriage – 1 TIM. 2:14.
This was the failure of Adam when Satan through the serpent became Eve’s closest companion – GEN. 3:1-7. Their toxic relationship brought terrible spiritual consequences for humanity – 2 COR. 11:3. However, a husband must not be foolish or socially irresponsible like Nabal and jeopardize his family – 1 SAM. 25:1-38. A spirit-filled wife must do the needful if faced with such situation.
A husband is to observe, plan per time or provide beforehand if he inherited wealth from family - 1 TIM. 5:8. A husband must bind his house financially – he must truly husband his earnings and that of his wife to give the family comfort per time – 1 TIM. 5:8. This was the error of the prodigal son who consumed his inheritance on riotous living. No husband or wife is permitted to waste his/her earnings on self-aggrandizement. The family’s earnings must not be wasted on strange men/women, and strange desires such as pools betting, drinking, drug addiction, and unproductive extended family members – PROV. 31:1-5. An aged widowed mother/mother in-law falls under a husband’s ambit – DT. 14:29; N16:14; 24:19 26:12; 1 TIM. 5:4-5. A husband must not let the family live beyond its means {including the earnings of his wife} at all times – ROM. 12:17b; 2 COR. 8:21.To do otherwise will make him an infidel, or an unbeliever, a faithless being. A husband must only use every lawful to provide and prove himself. It will be as God gives him opportunity that he plans and provides for his family – GAL. 6:10. The Bible generously praises a dutiful, obedient wife who has lawful independent income that relieves her husband and blesses her family – PROV. 31:10-19. Indeed, financial independence that does not threaten a marriage is one of the trademarks of a virtuous wife.
The husband has the obligation of taking up duties and responsibilities that are necessary to keep his family going. But the wife has an obligation to support him fully as a help meet – GEN. 2:18; 1 COR. 11:9; 1 TIM. 2:13. Adam was to be the head of the family and priest in the home, but Eve usurped that role with terrible consequences for humanity – GEN. 3:17-19. Giving to the work of God from the family’s earnings that will ensure the future of the family is a demonstration that he has not denied the faith – MAL. 3:8-12. The wife who indicts a husband for giving to the work of God will sooner than later bring him out of the faith and in matter of time, he may walk out of the marriage. A husband must bind all members of the household to have respect for authority, self-reliance and teamwork, the ability to do the right thing even in his absence, to obey the parameters that promote the family’s wellbeing. He must bind all to conduct themselves with decorum to meet the standards of the family’s ethical code of conduct.
A husband’s honour is his image and goodwill. If he loses his honour, he’s out as a husband. In many cultures, the office of a husband differentiates a man from a boy, a duckling from an eagle. Nobility trails all true manhood and husbandry, whether acquired or attained. A general comportment expected to refine his character, appearance and principles ought to make a husband more accountable. It’s when he possesses control over his emotions that he can rule his behaviours and bind his household. After he has tamed his tongue and temper, appetite and appearance, his task will be much easier and acceptable.
God is the husband of Israel in His covenant relationship with His chosen people – ISA. 54:5; JERE. 31:32.
A Pastor, historian, and writer, Joseph Emeka Anumbor is the author of THE INTERCOURSE OF TROUBLED THOUGHTS, a critically acclaimed discourse on homosexuality published by AuthorHouse Inc, Indiana, USA.