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Since Young Black Men Avoid High Maintenance Ladies

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Matching African young men with the young ladies has not worked very well these days. Traditional weddings, naming ceremonies, religious and cultural events where they meet one another are not enough. Our wish is different from theirs. They are definitely staying longer at home and parents are becoming apprehensive. The young men claim that they want to be financially secured in marriage and save for their own houses.

Young men are coming up with excuses while young women claim there are not that many choices out there of single black men they meet on social networks. Both claim the same friends most of them grew up with are high maintenance ladies and boys. Some of these young men and women grew up in a sheltered environment, went to some best schools in the world and are now qualified professional in their own rights.

The problem starts from “rich islands” where they were brought up. Most Africans countries have government reserve area (GRA) and other specially developed areas where the rich or who and who in these societies buy properties. The roads are perfect, internally generated electricity is reliable and treated water supply abundant. Crime if any are few and parties last until early hours of the morning within these islands.

Some girls never dated boys outside. It was only yesterday their parent did not want to see them with any boys, girls pointed out. Some parents are in successful business, high government officials or work for companies providing accommodation for staff. In the heydays of university campuses of Fourah Bay College, University of Ibadan and Univ. of Ghana, were locations that could rival them. One can forget about - see Paris and die.

The houses and roads in these new islands, never mind the poverty surrounding them, would blow the head of these boys and girls that are now men and women that cannot afford the same luxuries. But then, even grown men get lost in their dreams. This writer was so impressed with old FESTAC in Nigeria, he spent daily evenings looking for one of the boys quarters to rent. He got much more when an apartment was allocated to him.

So you can imagine how these young people feel. The fear of leaving home is one of the problems these men have to deal with, now we are pushing them to marry because they are getting too old to be bachelors. After all, we conquered that fear when we went to boarding schools and colleges, then got married in our twenties. Those that thought it was easier outside Africa later told sad stories of full time school and full time work.

The main complaint is many of the spoilt girls never drank pure water in their life and as adults only drink wine and champagne with their meals. Most of them do their groceries at super markets, shop for materials and trinkets in Dubai, London, Paris and New York. Their vacations and some weekends are not even spent in Africa. They only drive exotic and dangerous race cars that have no room for their parents on the roads. So, many turned out to be high maintenance, growing up with silver foot in their mouth.

When mothers usually more anxious bug boys about getting married: boys answer how they can afford such high maintenance ladies. That type of reluctance of the young men makes their mothers curious if their fathers have been complaining to their sons about the mothers' spending habits. No ma'am, the boys would answer. The men do not have to complain about wives but the children are not blind, despite being over-pampered.

A man that knows his place will not complain about wife spending habit to his children otherwise he risks being called stingy. Moreover, the richer they are, the better off he is keeping his mouth shut. Especially those with women they married when they were dirt poor. Anyone that has seen divorce lists of what they ask for, must understand what a high maintenance lady is. The older women can be richer by the order of the court.

The rich and well educated young ladies are not going to be hanging around forever waiting for the rich young men they grew up with to marry them. Many of them spread the search for a suitable husband around the globe to men of all colors, many willing to be second wives and others experiment with other women as lesbians. There are also some well educated women with good careers willing to marry poor men.

This is a different type of problem. Haba, they are now competing with poor women for their men. These rich and spoilt brats are leaving their rich and luxurious islands daring into the ghettos or shanty towns to marry the poor men. They claim love is blind when the fact is the young men they grew up with cannot keep up with their expensive taste. Check out the weddings of the rich and famous and compare them to those of talikawa.

The opulence when the rich daughters marry the rich young men defies poverty around them. Many men and women of “timber and caliber” are invited. It is usually a parade of who is who in the society. They usually have two weddings: traditional and English or Islamic. They may hire J.Lo or Beyonce to sing. It creates an opportunity for children to meet one another and start dating with the hope that they will marry in the future.

The parents of the bride may give a Mercedes Benz while the parents of the groom may give a house, sometimes from one of the rich islands. One would think that poor people would know their place. No, they copy the rich no matter where the money comes from. Many would borrow money for a wedding and feed all comers lavishly only to starve the following morning. This may be the beginning of the end of their sumptuous wedding.

The poor young men change to high maintenance bunch. They completely forget where they came from. Some may even move in with their wives' parents. Like the rich young men that claim they are saving for their own houses. Their rich wives complain the poor men never want modest cars, love expensive restaurants and buy expensive items without caring where their wives got the money. Many keep a bunch of girlfriends too.

Disclaimer: "The views/contents expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of Farouk Martins Aresa and do not necessarily reflect those of The Nigerian Voice. The Nigerian Voice will not be responsible or liable for any inaccurate or incorrect statements contained in this article."

Articles by Farouk Martins Aresa