Be your own Valentine

By John Boakye-The Mirror

The versions of the origin of valentine include birds and festivals but the most widely accepted version is about a catholic priest who lived in the third century and was killed for his exemplary acts of love. We therefore celebrate Valentine to understand and emulate the good examples of this priest.

The underlying factor in Valentine is love. The Greek word for love may be translated in many ways: philia or affectionate love, family love, eros or passion love and agape or unconditional love.

Valentine is therefore not only about romantic love. Everyone in relationship or not can therefore personalise valentine and celebrate some aspects of love.

St. Valentine was at peace with himself even when he was in prison. This means you do not have to be rich or be in a relationship to be at peace with yourself. You can't find peace outside you.

Put yourself first. Love and believe in yourself. If you do not believe in yourself you can't love others and they cannot love you. See yourself as good because you are wonderfully and fearfully made by your Maker.

Pamper yourself. Do not wait to receive gifts. Instead buy for yourself what you can afford to reflect how special you are and what you love, be they perfumes, books, gadgets or clothing.

Dress good. You may wear red fabrics to signify you are prepared to do all it takes to be what you want to be in life. You may stay at home and do anything that makes you happy. Watch movies, read a book. Play your favourite music, dance and laugh. Laughing is good medicine for the heart.

Valentine reconnected with nature. He had a garden and often took to a walk. Go out and spend time with the natural world. Walk along the beach or green grass. Watch the birds of the air. Quiet time gives relaxation and stress relief.

Be open to meeting new people and share social and religious activities. Who knows you may meet someone who will spend the next valentine with you. If you treat yourself special, you meet someone special.

Show kindness.
Do something special to show others that you care. Show verbal kindness by talking to friends and family members, give gifts you can afford, such as cards, flowers and chocolates.

The value of the gifts do not matter as the goodwill you show. Your act of kindness impacts positively on others and creates good relationships.

Valentine was good even to his enemy. This is a time to forgive yourself for the pain you have caused yourself and others. Be your own friend.

Forgive yourself for what has caused you pain. If someone abused your trust, disappointed you, left you when you needed him most, forgive him and see it as God's plan to make you stronger and wiser.

Forgiveness is therefore a divine gift you give to yourself. Nobody can heal you but yourself.

Uphold the dignity of marriage.
See it as of God and by God. He calls you into it to serve Him by what you do for your partner and humanity. If you are in a relationship resolve to nurture your love. Put focus on yourself and your relationship. As you show greater commitment, honesty, effective communication, forgiving spirit and prayer, you improve yourself and your relationship improves because your partner merely responds to what you do.

If you are single avoid abusing marriage by indecent sexual and promiscuous behaviours because valentine signifies love not lust, greed or selfishness.

This is a good time to propose.
Send a card to do all the talking for you. Simple sentences like "I am thinking of you", "what do you feel about me"? and "where is our friendship going" may just do the trick for you.

Remember it's always better to try than to regret losing a potentially loving partner because you refused to act at the right time

Can you be your own Valentine?
Valentine is for everyone because it is a celebration of love: If you are single do not dread valentine because it is a painful reminder that you are alone and have nobody to share your life.

You can always be your own valentine as you do something good for yourself. Get involved in the celebration. Celebrate in your own way. Nobody else can make you happy but you. No one can replace you.

If you are in a relationship enjoy the day. Whatever you do to show love, never forget that the one who deserves it most is you. Show true love with or without a lover.

Good valentine does not come and go. Love yourself and be your own valentine always.

Credit: John Boakye/The Mirror [e-mail: [email protected]]