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Is Jealousy Ruining Your Relationship?

By Jimmy Clifford Nii Nettey

Admit it, you've been jealous at one time or another. In fact, a little bit of jealousy is normal and a sign of a healthy relationship. If anyone is in a committed relationship and didn't feel a pang of jealousy here or there, it could be a sign that something was wrong. However, there is a point where jealousy can become severe, possessive, and border line dangerous. Every relationship must be built on trust for it to thrive, and unfortunately, when one partner becomes extremely jealous, there is a loss of trust and many problems may arise in the relationship.

The basic underlying emotion behind jealousy is fear. Usually, one partner becomes excessively jealous when they begin to fear that their partner is cheating on them or becoming unfaithful. This fear can lead to obsessive behaviors and can destroy all sense of trust and communication in your relationship. Amazingly, the root of the fear usually doesn't rest with the partner, but is based in a fear that the jealous individual experiences over a sense that they will be left alone. Since this is the basic cause of jealousy, it is important that all people deal with their own personal issues and self-esteem levels before entering into a relationship. When you're self-confident, and can rest assured that you are a valuable person that contributes a great deal to your relationship, you can trust that your partner will be faithful to you.

However, there are certain situations where jealousy may begin to destroy a relationship based on past faults. This may occur if a partner has been unfaithful and both partners are trying to salvage the relationship. Often, things will seem as if they are moving along fine, but it won't take much before fear and jealousy sets in and the wounded partner begins to become suspicious of their partner. If this describes the situation that you are in, you may find that the best course of action is to attend counseling as a couple. With the help of a counselor, you may find that there are specific strategies that you and your partner can take that will ensure that your relationship begins the healing process that it needs.

If your relationship has suffered infidelity, you must realize that you and your partner cannot simply pick up where you left off before the affair. There must be an active level of communication and healing must take place. Trying to pretend as if nothing happened will only complicate the relationship in the long run.

When jealousy begins to get out of hand, it is an open doorway for abuse to occur. Whether it is spying on someone's activities, falsely accusing or blaming your partner, or more serious incidents such as verbal or physical abuse, jealousy can cause detrimental problems to a relationship. It is important that people take responsibility for their own emotions, and jealousy is no exception. If you are suffering from jealousy, you may need to distance yourself from the relationship until you can get a handle on your feelings.

Is your boyfriend very jealous or are you the jealous one? What makes you feel you lack attention in your relation?

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