Love Through Different Lenses
If there is one thing that has confronted the human mind it is this thing called love. We make songs, poems, tales, analogies and gods of love. Today scientists developed concepts like “mystical spark” to explain love but the more we try to know, the lesser we feel we know.
Our escape route to the puzzle of love is to talk about some aspects of love.
Types of love
Affectionate or philia love.
This is the “I love you feeling”. Most relationships start with this kind of love when you notice some attractive features in the opposite sex that you like and makes you draw closer.
These include physical appearance, lifestyle, economic stature, intellect and educational background.
Studies however show that while men mostly look for beautiful women, women look for social status. With philia love, you develop confidence in a lover and build a story of friendship.
Family or storage love
This love gives you a sense of security or belonging as you yearn to share activities and enjoy what makes you feel good through sharing.
Storage love is about companionship, support and communication. Through it you develop understanding, acceptance and appreciation.
Storage love is very important in marriage because it spills over to sustain other relationships with children, extended family and country. It helps you to develop harmony and support with all you come into contact with.
Passion or eros
It is the sensual type that usually produces physical involvement with partners. Partners desire each other in close contact to satisfy their sexual needs. Partners may hold hands, hug, kiss or have sex.
Physical contact stimulates production of chemicals in the brain to promote bonding. Passion love is strong, sweet and emotional but it could lead partners into infatuation (derived from a word that means a fool who does not see warning signs) or lust (derived from a word which means to conceive sin)
Agape or genuine love
In agape love, you love your partner with no concern for personal reward or gain. It is about putting the needs of your lover ahead of yours. It is kind and patient. It is not self-seeking but always protects, trusts and preserves. With agape love you forgive unconditionally. You must, therefore, make no room for bitterness, revenge, apathy, dishonesty, withdrawal, abuse and separation or divorce. Agape love never fails.
Which is best?
Agape love is the best love because it is not based on emotions or how your lover treats you but what you do to build your partner to his or her highest potential. You must, however, appreciate that all the types of love are crucial for a relationship to work. They must all be present at the same time to make a relationship mature.
Partners must know what attracts each other and make effort to keep affectionate love strong. For example men are highly visually stimulated. It is important women stay attractive. Poor dressing and personal care depress men.
Everyone needs attention. Partners must show storage love by finding quality time and do what they love doing. Time together creates bonding. On the other hand, if a lover is left to herself, she may feel lonely and depressed .
Eros love is sweet but is easily diminishes if you don’t work on it. Put fun into your marriage as you hold hands, touch, hug and kiss. Laughter is good medicine for the heart.
Married couples must be sexually active. Sex is the most intimate form of communication, the only thing you do to the exclusion of all others.
Sexual life is a good index to the health of marriage because if it is good, all other areas of marriage can reach their fullest potential.
The best expression of two people becoming one flesh and sharing love is sex. Couples must develop exciting sexual life. Variety is the spice for sex. Fire up passion in your relationship.
Scientists and other marriage experts may confuse you about love but the good news is that you don’t need lenses to love. Just develop all areas of your life to your highest potential and share your life with that special one to help him or her to develop areas of his or her life to his or highest potential.
This is true love, the kind that never fails.