MENDING A BROKEN HEART.
Healing a broken heart isn't impossible. Follow these tips for fixing your broken heart and moving on with life. Whether you're the “dump-er” or the “dump-ee,” chances are that a broken relationship is going to leave you with a broken heart as well. You may not believe it at the time, but there are ways to put the pieces back together.
The first step is to accept the fact that a breakup is indeed a real loss- whether you were involved for six weeks, six months, six years, or a lifetime. Give yourself permission to go through all the stages of grief. As depressed as you may be when your loved one walks out the door, try to focus on the present. Feel your feelings, but don't believe them. Feeling bad is fine, but predicting the rest of your life when you're feeling this bad isn't good. In other words, despite how you feel and what you're saying to yourself and everyone else who will listen -- it's unlikely that you're never going to fall in love again and that you're destined to spend every Valentine's Day forever after by yourself.
Falling in love is about you. It isn't about the other person either. You will still have the ability to fall in love. Nobody can take that away from you. There are generally two responses to a broken heart. The first is, “Oh, I'll never go through that again.” The second is, “I survived that so I can relax ... I know
I can survive it again.” In getting over the loss of a loved one, don't try to stop thinking about the
other person. This may sound stupid but believe it or not it's true. In studies of 70 young men and women, it was found that if you suppress those painful thoughts of your dear departed one, you'll keep yourself from getting used to the idea that he (or she) is really gone. Then each time the thought re-enters your mind, your body will react to the distress as if it were the first time -- with all the pain that came along with it that first time. So if you can't get your ex out of your mind, just give in to it.
Relationship experts have suggested the following as some tips for fixing your broken heart and moving on with life.
• Giving your time to help someone else helps take your mind off your troubles and makes you feel really good at the end of the day.
• Pamper yourself with a massage, manicure, fresh flowers, or a weekend getaway to a place you've never explored. (This is not the time to trip down memory lane and stay in that place you and your ex-beloved once visited!)
• Adopt a pet. Pets give you an unlimited amount of attention and love.
• Keep a journal and write down what you learned from the relationship, what your role in the breakup was (even if you're convinced you were blameless, chances are, you weren't -- at least not completely). Write down what you'll avoid in your next relationship.
• Spend time with friends and family who will nurture you and keep you from feeling lonely.
• Learn something new. Take a class. Start a hobby.
• Think of this time as a new chapter in your life and explore your passions and make a plan to accomplish a goal.
Finally, remember that everyone who's ever gotten over a loss at some point thought she or he wouldn't. But you will. And you'll find that you still have that ability to open your heart and love.
Courtesy of a.h.a