Visiting your would-be in-laws for the first time? Tips to ponder

Source: Adaeze Amos -

It is always an intriguing idea to be taken home by your fiancé to see his parents, to be introduced to them for the first time. So many married women still remember their first visit to their in-laws with great nostalgia what with the way they were accepted by the old folks. Some women still remember the food they ate and how they were dressed to the place.

This is once-in-a-life-time thing, seeing your fiancé's parents for the first time. Little wonder some ladies get jittery while preparing to go for such visits. This reminds me of Theresa, a dear friend who is still having cold hands since her fiancé told her to get set that he would be taking her to see his parents. This is the first time since three years they have been courting. She said she has been having some butterflies in her tummy since she got the wind of her visit to her would-be- in-laws. “I would be going to see them soon, on Easter Sunday to be precise,” she said, giggling. “I don't sleep well anymore because of the fear of not being accepted by Eric's parents. I love him so much that it would affect me badly if they reject me.

At least I have been able to conquer my initial fears. That was when we (Eric and I) went for medical tests to ascertain our HIV status and genotype. You needed to have seen how joyful I was when I saw for the first time that my genotype is AA. Eric's own is AS and he told me that if I happen to be AS too, that he would not risk marrying me. Now, the next fear I'm facing is that of being rejected by his parents, especially his mother whom he loves so dearly.”

Theresa said she would have preferred if she was taken to see the fiancé's parents unprepared because she has become bag of nerves since she was told to get ready to face Eric's old folks. And her fears is that her would-be mother-in-law loves to ask questions. Poor her, you need to see the efforts she has been making just to be acceptable to that family. She has ransacked her wardrobe several times trying to see what to wear to the place. And after going through her attires, she couldn't see anything beautiful enough for the visit. She then decided to make a new dress. Funny isn't it? This lady I'm talking about is a fashionista of sort. Yet just because she wants to impress she couldn't see anything good enough in her wardrobe to wear.

Need I blame her for that? I could remember what my best friend told me about how her mother-in-law embarrassed the lady her hubby's younger brother wanted to marry. She said when the lady came visiting, she left her shoes on the threshold of the man's living room. And when her mother-in-law was coming into the living room, she saw the worn out shoes with heels peeling off and screamed, “hey, whose shoes are these ehn? These kind of shoes that have eaten enough banana can give a child serious nightmare.”

When her son heard it, he came out, saw the shoes and hushed his mother pleading that the owner of the shoes was his fiancée. When the woman walked into the living room and saw the young lady sitting on one of the sofas, the way she was asking her questions and her facial expression showed that she didn't like the girl. She turned to her son and asked a question that drove the message home. “John 'nwa m' (my son) I don't know when you will have good taste for women. Is that the lady you want to marry? This one who cares less about her shoes definitely won't be able to take care of you, your children and your home.”

So, ladies if you are going to be introduced to your would-be in-laws for the first time, there are some tips to ponder over. Below are some of them.

Watch what you wear
You know you would be addressed the way you are dressed. This does not mean you should dress to kill. Just look good, that is the bottom line.

Tops to avoid
Avoid tops or T-shirts that have funny inscriptions. Still, I mean T-shirts that have such inscriptions as: 'I'm romantic', 'I'm sexy', 'I'm hot on bed', 'You can have me all night'. Such T-shirts won't tell good of you. Your would-be in-laws may read meaning to them.

Don't flaunt your cleavages on your first visit
Also don't wear tops that would flaunt your cleavages. Although such tops are in vogue now it should not be worn on the day you are ready to see ardent Christian or Muslim old folks of your man. They are not the ones to be impressed by your cleavages. Leave that for your guy, not his old folks.

Your make-up shouldn't be very heavy
Did you say it doesn't matter? You can imagine the kind of impression an elderly woman who sees ladies that wear very heavy make-up as prostitutes would have about you for the first time. Or don't you know that first impression matters a lot?