SHE'S NOT RECIPROCATING MY AFFECTION
Dear Samuel,
The best way to tell a girl that you like her is by showing her. What I mean is that you begin by doing little and subtle things to get her attention. One of those subtle things is to compliment her attire, her mannerisms or her shoes. You could simply say, 'Hi, nice suit' but do not over labour the compliment and then wait for her response and give your best smile. Go ahead and say your name and ask for hers. Say something like - hope to see you again soon. Try to seek her out again at the same spot; if you find her; smile your best genuine smile and say: Hey lady, I am beginning to really like these coincidences and ask how she is doing. Gauge her reaction; if she is receptive go for the kill by asking her to lunch. If not say; 'see you around here again soon' and keep it moving. Continue to be on the look-out for her and when it is finally conducive, go on that lunch date and then let her know that you liked her from the first day you set eyes on her. The rest will be your story to tell.
Nj
Dear Nji
You are really wonderful. I love reading your column. I desperately need your help in linking up with a good girl. My email address is [email protected].
Thank you.
•FINEBOY
Hi Fineboy,
Thanks for writing. Any interested lady will reply directly to your mailbox.
Nj
Dear Njigirl,
I' have been following your column and I must commend you for the way you handle issues. I am a 27-year-old working class guy. I am educated with a Bachelor of Science degree. I have been longing to meet a girl of my dreams but it is not happening. The ones I meet are not the ones I want. I don't know what to do because I have been trying. I know there is no perfect woman but there are criteria I expect my dream woman to meet. I am so worried that at 27 I'm still not in any relationship perhaps because I'm just careful not to go into it just for the sake of it. Please link me up with a girl like this: she should be 25 years or below, educated, has a good job. If she has entrepreneurial skills, that is better. She should be of average height and based in the East. I will greatly appreciate your help.
• KEN
Hello Ken,
Thanks for writing. Although I appreciate your concern regarding your need for a steady girl, at 27 years of age I do not think it is such a big problem. At 25 years of age most men are still doing the club scene and not at all serious about any girl. All you have to do is be outgoing and serious about the type of girl you are looking for. I bet someone will respond to you via the email address that you have posted.
Good luck,
NJ
Hi Njigirl,
I am a medical student looking for a beautiful girl within the age bracket 16-to-21 for a strong relationship. Tribe is not a barrier.
• MACAULAY MATHIAS
Hello Mathias
Thanks for writing. Although you did not say your age, I suspect that you are more than 21 years of age. I am curious; why are you looking for a 16 year old? Are you aware that a 16-year-old girl is still a child and incapable under the law of making her own decisions? Do you know that you can be charged with statutory rape if you sleep with a 16-year-old girl? Please look for adults who can make their own choices, leave the little girls alone.
NJ
Dear Madam,
Honestly, you are a massive asset to your husband and to your world. You are a great voice. I bless the name of our Lord for your life. I need a genuine lady of 35-50 years who has had all her children already or is not interested in bearing children, for serious relationship. I am about 30 years. I am not a liability and I don't need a liability either from any part of the globe.
• SAM
Dear Sam,
Thanks for writing and thanks for your compliments. Any interested persons will contact you directly.
Nj
Hi Nji,
I am always excited reading your column in Sunday Sun. I do appreciate how you proffer solutions to people's problems. Please keep it up. I come from Ohafia in Abia State. I am in a relationship with a girl. The problem is that she is not reciprocating my affection for her. When I confronted her about this, she told me that she still loves me. She said that the issue is that is the long distance between us. I want to marry her. Please advice me.
• ABRO
Dear Abro,
I suggest that you hold back your proposal to your girl until you are sure she is for real. Your first indication that she may not love you is coming from your instincts or 'gut'. These types of feelings are usually true. Distance in a love relationship typically 'makes the heart go fonder' and should strengthen not weaken your relationship. I suspect foul play. Your girl may not be responding to you as she did before because;
(a) she no longer loves you,
(b) she has found a new lover,
(c) she may not feel strongly about marrying you any longer,
(d) she is holding a grudge against you or
(e) she may feel that you are not manly enough.
Tell her that you do not buy her response about distance and that you want to know categorically where she stands in your relationship. Pose these five questions and watch her reactions. If she simply brushes them away, you may soon find out that she is not the one.
Nj