ALLOW YOUR SON MARRY AN OLDER WOMAN?
When they were still teenagers Pa Okugo made it clear to his two sons, Obinna and Kelechi not to marry girls older than themselves so that they can enjoy their marriage and live to see their grandchildren. But Obinna spurned his father's counsel. He met his dream girl, Chinenye during a festival at their village. Chinenye was a very popular girl in the community and four years older than Obinna.
Nobody knew why Pa Okugo gave such warning to his children and they kept wondering what could have made him give such warning until he let the cat out of bag.
One day he called his kinsmen together and narrated to them why he gave the warning to his children. He said: 'My people, I greet you. I called this meeting to explain why I am strongly opposed to the marriage between my son, Obinna and Chinenye, Ikechukwu's daughter.
First of all, most of us are aware of the death of my only surviving brother, he said, sobbing and turned to Uncle Ugo , saying You are very wicked and heartless. I don't know how to describe the whiskers you call mustache around your mouth. You are pretending as if you don't know what led to his death after he married Ahurole, from Oye-Agu village. You are aware that he suddenly became lean and before we knew what was happening, he passed on. We consulted the village shrine, Amadioaha, and we were told it was a taboo in our culture to marry older women and that was what killed my brother.
And now you are supporting my eldest son to marry a girl who is four years older than him so that he would die prematurely. What have I done to deserve this from you and why would you not allow my family to have peace in this little hamlet he asked.
Would you allow your son to marry a woman older than him? Sunday Sun went to town to talk to a cross section of Nigerians on the subject.
Enjoy their views.
It's not negotiable. My son cannot marry an older lady . I am a woman and I know the things that could happen, if a woman is older than her husband.
It is advisable for a man to marry a younger woman or someone his age. For example, I cannot marry a younger man, I cannot take it. Only certain circumstances can cause it.
My son can marry anybody he feels like, but what I am more interested in is the best. I mean true love matters more. What if he marries a younger lady who does not give him rest of mind? This generation no longer permits parents to chose for their children. Circumstances sometimes permits a man to marry a lady who is five years older. Age is just a number, the bible does not specify whether a man or woman should be older than each other. What the Bible says is that in every circumstance, the wife should subject herself to her husband.
Age is not significant in a courtship and it is not a strange thing. I can allow it, depending on their understanding. The basic fact is that the wife should learn to respect her husband, unlike many ladies today who have thrown caution to the wind.
It all depends on the love they have for each other, but I would rather advise they keep it secret between them, for good reasons, because their families might not want them to go ahead with the marriage plans or relationship.
Secondly, the wife should make sure she subjects herself to the husband and should not allow people to know she is older.
If they love and respect each other, they can go ahead. No parent who wants happiness for his children would dare lord it on them on anything about their future.
Since we are in the age of globalization, we parents have little control over our kids due to cultural imperialism. But if he wishes he can, due to the love he has for bimpe
Well, I do not think I like the idea of my son marrying a lady older than he is. I will discourage him from marrying her, but if he insists and he is sure he loves her enough to marry her, I will allow him have his happiness. her, but as a father I want the best for my kid.
Well, it depends on the age difference between them. I will not allow it , if it's more than five years. That is, if the lady is five years older than my son.
Anything beyond that is not a welcome idea.
Yes of course, but it depends on the age difference. He can only marry her, if the age difference is not more than two years, because that is simply understandable. But if it exceeds the years, I will not allow it to happen.
As far as he is man enough to run his home, age is not so much a barrier. Not all men are older than their wives.stances can cause it.
Well, as for me it all depends on him. I cannot chose for him. I can only sit him down, and ask him what he actually sees in her that makes him love her. I would ask if it is because of her wealth. What could I have done if I objected to it and he goes behind me to marry her? Will I for that reason kill myself? I think as a father I would just tell him to think very deeply before concluding his actions or intensions. He should seek advice from other mature people who, I know will not mislead him. But if that is what he wants, the rest is left to him.