How to keep a woman in your bed


Last week, I wrote an article about how to get a woman into bed. A friend of mine wrote the rejoinder, published today. I feel it is worth publishing and may be even be more important. Perhaps next week, we will write an article on 'How to keep a man in your bed.' Sounds like fun, doesn't it?

Heads or tails
The man is the head and, more often than not, the breadwinner for the family. This confers some modicum of respect and privilege on the man. On the other hand, the woman is supposed to be submissive and obedient to her man as described in most religions. Morally, though right, the sanctity of marriage means that the delicate balance should not be destroyed. Even when a woman is the breadwinner, respect for the man is important and for the same reason, the man should not take things for granted.

There is an age-long adage that a woman is to be seen not heard. It is not so again because these days, our women are being seen and heard. Many women are in positions of power and fairly well off. It takes a strong man who is sure of himself to manage such women. Women are now go-getters and pace-setters in many endeavours of life and so demand some respect and mutual understanding to get the best out of them. They do not want to be looked down on by men; and understandably so. If you need a door mat, then perhaps an uneducated girl, who may become a drain on your resources, is your best bet.

Men should be passionate enough with their women and not trample on their emotions so that they can enjoy them. Show them love, be part of their everyday activity, appreciate their opinion, respect and trust them, above all, compliment their beauty, hard-work and handiwork as these will boost their morale. Take time off to spoil them a little and they will in turn spoil you rotten. You should always treat your woman as if each day is the last day on earth.

Come with clean hands
Be honest with your partner and share your emotions. Discuss your fears and insecurities and listen to her fears. Many women are innately jealous and insecure, especially about other women. Do not give room for jealousy to manifest in your relationship. Put your woman on a pedestal and worship her. The truth is that others will treat her the way you treat her.

Shun infidelity
Infidelity seems to have become fashionable. A lot of people have thrown caution to the wind. Some even feel that what a man can do, a woman can do better. This is deceptive and eroding the very fabric of the society. Remember, this is life, real life and your life to be built or destroyed as you see fit.

Indeed, eighty per cent of those in relationships appear to have a hidden agenda. For the Nigerian men, they believe the women are only interested in their money. But this is perhaps only a minority of women who trade sexual favour for money. Such women target men with money and power.

In order to keep a woman in your bed:
Know her hormonal responses: When it comes to female behaviour, hormones often get the lion's share of the blame (or credit, depending). Hormones are why men are supposed to know to bring her flowers and chocolate during “that time of the month.” They're why women need to be romanced in order to feel like getting romantic.

•When you start dating and get close enough to discuss intimate details with a woman, you'll eventually learn specific things about her that are related to her hormones, such as how her menstrual cycle influences her behaviour and mood. Don't assume that you know everything about her hormones just because you've been in a previous relationship!

•Premenstrual syndrome is experienced by three out of every four women. Nobody knows exactly what causes PMS, other than the fluctuations of hormones and chemical changes in the brain.Recognizing what constitutes normal PMS symptoms in the woman in your life can help everyone manage a potentially difficult time.

Pregnancy is wacky: You thought that hormones went crazy during puberty — or during “that time of the month” — but everything changes when a woman gets pregnant. Pregnancy is an amazing feat of the female body, but be forewarned: The hormones involved can really wreak havoc during this time.

Understand menopause: At its most basic, menopause just means that a woman stops being fertile. You may not realise that menopause is actually a gradual transition — it's not like turning off a switch. It also varies greatly depending on the woman, like everything else.

Sexual dysfunction: Sexual dysfunction in women can also be linked to a lack of intimacy, depression or body image issues. However, it's also perfectly normal for a woman's libido to change over the course of her lifetime. When hormones are surging during adolescence, both men and women have higher libidos. As those hormone levels stabilise, a woman's libido is more likely to do the same. Then it could decrease as she matures and adds in environmental factors like birth control and job stress.

The bottom line: Women aren't slaves to their hormones any more than men are (that, after all, would imply that all they do is think about sex). Knowing more about the complexities of women's hormones, however, can only help men better understand the opposite sex.

NB: This article was written by Daisy Uchegbu-Sams