I had the challenge of being submissive – D1’s wife
Dayo Adeneye a.k.a D1 and his wife, Caroline, have been married for 12 years. The couple reveal their staying power
How long have you been married?
Caroline: We got married in 2001 but I have known him for about 15 years. We courted for two years.
How did you meet?
Dayo: My father introduced us to each other. She had some friends next door to my father's house and he always told me about these two ladies who used to come around and he said he wanted me to meet with them. I just said to myself: Is it this old man that would give me a girlfriend?' But my curiosity got the better of me. Then, we met and took it from there.
What was the attraction?
Dayo: She just seemed very down-to-earth apart from the physical attraction. She was very friendly and I associate with people I can converse with. I do not go for just beauty, I prefer somebody I can discuss just anything. I found that in her and I was very comfortable with it. We went on dates and we just had fun.
Did she give you a hard time when wooing her?
Dayo: She did. According to her, I was a celebrity and she does not date celebrities because they don't make good boyfriends or husbands. It was left to me to change her mind and show her that what I do for a living does not define me. Once I leave the TV or radio, I am just Dayo Adeneye.
How did you bring yourself to date and later marry a celebrity?
Caroline: I had a thing or two against celebrities because most of those we looked up to did not really have a home. Marrying Dayo was a project my late father-in-law embarked on- I just had to marry his son. After meeting Dayo, I watched him closely. He was nice, reserved and forthright. We stuck together even though my parents were against it. After I had my daughter, we were still not married and when they saw that he kept coming around and would take part in family activities, they just called me one day and said we should go and do the wedding. Dayo is a deep-minded person, who allows you to grow. He tells me, 'I don't mind if my wife is richer than me.'
When I was in school, I used to run away from the Yorubas. But God made me eat my words and gave me a man I could not resist.
How did he propose to you?
Caroline: He proposed to me outside the country and he did not take me to any fancy restaurant. We were eating eba and vegetable soup. He just said he loved my nails and he wanted to get a closer view. The next thing he did was to slip a ring into my finger and asked me to marry him. I keep telling him that when we are celebrating our 15th year anniversary, he will propose to me again and this time, in a fanciful manner.
How did your union survive the first five years of marriage, which are termed the toughest?
Caroline: It takes a lot of patience and compromise. My mother and one of my aunts told me that if one survives the first five to seven years of marriage , there is a great tendency that both of you would stay together. I had the challenge of being submissive but we were able to overcome it because there was real love, trust, and friendship.
Do you sometimes wish he was not a public figure?
Caroline: No, because when he is at home, he is the Dayo Adeneye I married.
Are you concerned he is a ladies' man?
Caroline: My father used to say, 'If you do not go after women, they would go after you.' When you do not dwell on it, you will not be bothered. I am happy and do not think I would want him to do anything else because he enjoys what he is doing.
Apart from being his wife, what else do you do?
Caroline: I am a lawyer and I do general business. I am into construction, I do events, and I make branded luxury items.
When you quarrel, who is the first to apologise?
Caroline: D1 is a kind of person that keeps to himself. When he is upset, he does not want to talk. I just let him be. In the early days of our marriage, I did not understand, but with time, I adjusted. I realised that in a short while, he comes around and will usually send the kids to tell me to get him this or that. However, when he upsets me, he starts demanding for things as little as cake and then gradually, he talks his way to my heart. So we really don't wait for who would apologise first.
How do you balance your roles at home and at the office?
Dayo: It is not very difficult for me. In the early years, because we were working to build a brand, it was difficult for me because we put in many hours at work. In those days, it was very easy to find me working weekends, holidays and I do not think we have spent Valentine's Day together in the last 12 years and even major holidays like Easter or Christmas, because that is when we are the busiest in entertainment. She understands and fills the void when I am not around. That is why it is important to marry your friend because marriage is not all about love. That friend would be willing to do anything for you. When I am not working, I am always home spending as much time as possible with them.
How often do you give your wife a treat?
Dayo: In the early days, it was a lot of material things such as a car or a parcel of land. But I think we have become so much of friends now that we look out for little things. She knows I do not need the big things to make me happy. Just ordering me an apple pie, (she knows I like it) or a pack of cupcakes makes all the difference. I try to do the same. If I come home early from work, I whisk her off to a Chinese restaurant, just to let her know I am thinking about her and I appreciate her being in my life.
What would you like to change about each other?
Dayo: She knows. I always tell her she is very stubborn but I have learnt to look at it this way- sometimes, what you consider a weakness could also be strength. Just tweak things a bit and adjust it. That her stubbornness and tenacity also help her in her business because when she locks onto something, she does not give up until she gets it. I tell her, 'When I say anything to you, listen and digest it before giving me a reply.' She usually tries to answer immediately and I think that is just the lawyer in her. I tell her, 'We are not in a courtroom.'
Caroline: He is too strict and I think he should relax. I think he ought to be more open. We can sit here for hours talking and he will not say a word. Meanwhile, he would have taken in everything in the environment.
Is he romantic?
Caroline: He is but not to the extent, I want him to be. For someone who lived in America for 17 years, I do not think he is doing well in that regards. Before, I used to receive text messages every now and then but now it comes once a month.
Dayo: It is network problem.
How do you spend time together?
Caroline: Even though he is not around during the holidays, he makes up for it. Recently, we went to Virgin Islands and we had a lot of fun.
Do you have pet names for each other?
Caroline: Not really. I just call him 'Honey' and this started even when I just met him.
Dayo: I do not have any but when I am being romantic, I call her by her middle name. which I do not want to make public.