Separating "Spirituality" From "Reality"

I received an inbox message two days ago and a woman explained how she has been enduring domestic ,verbal , emotional and psychological abuse plus serial cheating and bad mouthing from her husband in years yet her family and friends asked her to keep praying for him, one even asked she reads Psalm 91 always, I was shocked.

While I’m not undermining the power of prayer, I think we need to know how to separate “Spirituality” from “Reality”. An abusive man has no other name and most times won’t change, especially those with wrong family values and upbringing. It’s their own way of showing “They are in charge”, and then you ask a woman to dwell in pain and anguish just because “society demands that she must make her marriage work”. Seriously????

The book of Psalm 91 says: “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadows of the Almighty”, even God has spoken through his word, in context of domestic abuse, this means move away from the situation to a safe place, that way I can guarantee your safety.

Ronke Shonde and Titi Arowolo died because their families asked they endure and keep praying. Please don’t die because of Love, if abuse is the order of the day then speak to your legs fast and let his mother continue praying for him biko. So many women are living in chronic depression because of society demands, they look happy on the face but deep inside they are dying slowly.

Hear this, a woman going through all forms of abuse mentioned above could become unfriendly , cold, snobbish and even a nagging queen, because she is drained already, her energy is used up and she is barely existing rather than living , then she becomes a shadow of herself or worse .

However, the funny thing is abusive men are the most sweet and kind to outsiders, you will almost think the wife is the tough one and unfriendly not knowing she is a result of her husband’s true colour , some of these men even play the victim to gain more points and tell you they are not happy in their marriage.

Please let’s stop sending our women to their early grave.

Facebook: Esther Ijewere-Kalejaiye
Twitter & Instagram: @estherijewere
Email: [email protected]
**Esther is the founding editor of womenofrubies.com, a platform she uses in celebrating exceptional women with inspiring stories. She is an activist, social entrepreneur, columnist and author of the bestselling information handbook on Rape ; Breaking the silence.