Oriki Ato...eulogy Of Semen (part 1)

Teacher: what makes a woman happy?
Ahmed: her kids.
Teacher: hmmm... yesss....
Teacher: what makes a woman tick?
Adoke: professional fulfillment.
Teacher: okay...okay... nice try...
Teacher: what makes a woman glow?
Akpors: semen!
Teacher: yesssss!!!
Why one needs to revert to lurid lyrics to attract dancers to cerebral "songs", only God can tell. Well.. Now I have your attention!

Seminal fluid or semen is that white fluid that gushes out of the penis at the climax of coitus...in a process called ejaculation...a rather convulsive, amnesia-compelling but blissful phenomenon!

But semen is not "sired" of just one parent!

"Born of many parents", it is rather a hodge-podge of several ingredients massed together just before being flung...albeit furiously into the vagina by the excited penis!

And such ingredients?
Spermatozoa (singular, spermatozoon)...or sperms....freely mixed with prostatic fluid...all waiting prior to release....in the seminal vesicles.

Travel tube? The vas deferens...a hollow pipe afixed side-to-side to a bundled cable of nerves, arteries and gorgy veins...to form the spermatic cord...

At the height of sexual stimulation...a rhythmic sessions of rubs and scrubs of the vaginal "skin" on penile skin, an action potential is attained which leads into ejaculatory "action"! (Another round of equally rhythmic...but reflex violent contractions of pelvic muscles in the male.)

Sperms released at maturity from the testis...temporizing in the epidydimis....then picking up fluid (to swim in) from the prostate on its way to the storage silos of seminal vehicles awaiting release...

Back to semen... It is famed to be a glorious fluid with a highly-nutritive value...sure to keep hungry sperms fed and satiated during their long custody in the seminal vehicles!

And as they are quite generous, they are sure to pass on their left-overs to the female loins as they move residence after ejection by their irate landlord...the almighty penis!

Their lofty cargo bears proteins, sugars, endorphins and antioxidants...which in addition to the joy and exercise of sex,

...makes our ladies glow!
And they actually glow from within...and from without!

A lift in mood! A brilliant shine to skin! Meals served with flourish! Extra care to looks! Greater attention to dressing details! A better fit of raiment! A listening ear for your grumbles!

And how sex settles marital squabbles and scores!
Dr K was my roommate in med school. When his younger brother fell out with his wife, trust K to offer only one effective counsel:

"Ti o ba ti de'le, ma ba iyawo e so nkankan o. Iwo saa ko awon omo sinu yara kan, ti ilekun mo won, yo o_o e s'ita, gbee le iyawo e l'owo, ki o d_! Ko si obirin to le ignore o_o to ba ti le!"

And guess the warmth in the welcome extended to "Brother K" by Mama Tope next time he came visiting?:

"E seun ojo sir! E ku aajo wa sir! Ile ati ona ti yin naa ko ni daru sir!"...

As madam served him the choiciest chunks of beef from their stew-pot!

As a funny neighbour of mine used to joke..."ti obirin ba ti nyara s'odi s'odi, ki e mo pe o ti gba nkan s'ara niyen"!

Dr Tosin Akindele is a medical practitioner and public affairs analyst.