The Travails Of The Female Breasts
Starting out as an inconsequential pair of innocent buds in the frontal section of the thoracic cavity, the prepubertal female breasts undergo a most amazing transformation during puberty and thereafter! I would not bore you with medical jargon associated with such staged metamorphosis and the hormonal impartations associated with such.
Suffice it however to say that the female gender appears readier to have these wonderful organs serve cosmetic cum sexual functions than the God-mandated nutritional duties they are predestined for...for her offsprings!
She somehow believes that suckling her neonate would more likely hasten the flattening process than suckling a full-grown man! So she feeds the unfortunate infant on cows milk! But the advantages of human milk over cows milk are countless! Bonding! Antibodies to fight off infections! Clean! Right temperate! Easy digestion!
But our dear ladies would rather opt for the cosmetic option!
Cosmetic....to give "shape" to the blouse as its juttingly-provocative allure and pinpoint apex acts in concert with a pair of well-rounded buttocks to synergistically perform a most erotic miracle on the unwary male! As he mis-spends, miscues, mis-jives...and generally misbehaves!
But my regret lies in the bitter fact that this "breast and buttcok shakara" can only last a short while.
I feel pained each time I tilt up my huge head to see the fruits of a pawpaw tree in my backyard as they dangle soullesly on their stalks.
This only serves as a stark reminder of the ominous fate that awaits the female breasts in their intermediate stages of life....on their way to yet end up as a pair of pancakes....
....or slippers....
Dr Tosin Akindele is a medical practitioner and public affairs analyst.