THAWING OUT HARDENED HEARTS- AN ATTEMPT AT DRAMA AND POETRY.
Preamble.
Below is a story I sent to a TV house during the reign of the dreaded General OBeeJay, when people feared to talk bluntly or "hit the nail on the head" lest Daddy Iy banged his belt buckle on their heads! Much as I tried to veil the story by encrypting the lead character, the producer did not publish it....for obvious reasons. Cajoling the cast and crew through naked flattery sauced in hyperbolic euphemisms failed to "move" them either. The fear of the "koboko" was the beginning of wisdom! I started as follows:
A STORY FOR DAWNRISE (name changed)
Dear lady and gentleman of the house of Dawnrise:
There is this rare flavour inherent in Dawnrise that makes it so soothing, so refreshing, and so addicting as it truly brings sunshine into our drab lives!
To reciprocate your kind gesture, may I tell you two monkey stories to spice up your morning? I intend to deliver them in a two- part monkey series.
After all, one good turn they say, deserves another.
And may I ask: Why always prose? Why not drama? Why not poetry.....all wrapped up in sarcasm? Perhaps with such flexible options, we might have a fair chance of thawing out a few more hardened hearts! So, what format is my story taking? Well, it's poetry this time around.
Next story, we shall try our hands on drama.
Prose all the time can be so boring.....
"MONKEY DUBTY
Monkey dumbty fell from a throne
Monkey dumbty broke his backbone
And all depraved men
In all a huge den
Could not put
Dumbty`s bones together again"
.....and as they remained unmoved, I tried another approach.....drama.....
"MONKEY PALAVA:
MONKEY- IN CHIEF OR BULLY- IN- CHIEF
Story teller: story story.....
Audience: story.....
Story teller: once upon a time.....
Audience: time time.....
Story teller: a long time ago, there was a creature who reveled in bullying fellow animals and was very averse to advice. On this particular day, he was hungry and very angry. To appease him, his subjects cajoled as follows;
Subject no. 1: your Excellency sir. What would you have for dinner?
Subject no. 2: my widow's mite sir. How about a bunch of bananas?
Subject no 3: your Excellency sir, before you go bananas, why not start off with a drink?
Subject no 4: while peeling your bananas, your Excellency, please watch the skin. Banana skin is very slippery.....
Though His Excellency earnestly accepted their banana gift and rapidly gobbled it up, he ignored their advice, threw caution to the winds and his attitude remained substantially unchanged!
And thus consequently, he slipped on the banana skin, had a great fall and his kingdom imploded with a loud bang!
Thus ends my story of a banana gift for a banana gobbler in a banana republic".
......and as the station still refused to yield to my entreaties, I adopted the approach below. I had to let out some steam, didn't I?
"ETHICS OF JOURNALISM-
WHAT IS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE IS GOOD FOR THE GANDER!
Dear Producer,
Perhaps you would not allow your presenter read this letter on air but it is a letter that the management of your TV station must go through with a toothcomb so that they would know how Nigerians feel about your establishment.
In all civilized societies, the press is regarded as the fourth estate of the realm..... meaning that it has a moral and constitutional duty to check the excesses of those that administer the lives of fellow men.
Such checks are necessary to curb the corrupting and intoxicating tendencies of power.
As such, it is quite amazing when presenters read the e- mails of proponents of 'third term' with glee but bluntly refuse to grant audience to those who oppose it.
To visit loyal viewers with such naked contempt is baffling and uncivilized.
Owners of private TV stations would do well to tread cautiously when employing presenters who have been conditioned against the public by their former employers.
If they must be employed, such presenters must be made to undergo in-house re-orientation courses before being unleashed on the viewing public.
Perhaps the said presenter is not to blame for this lopsidedness. Maybe the programme`s producer or even the owner of this TV station whose antecedents are similar to those of the presenter is responsible for this aberration in policy.
Nigerians must learn not to place too much trust in TV personnel who cut their teeth in government- owned media houses.
We avoided government media houses like a plague before the licensing of private radio and TV stations brought us a sigh of relief.....only to be visited with the same treatment by new-generation media houses! Why this double standard? What is the use of a talk show if nobody is watching"?
.....I was becoming frustrated by their antics, wasn't I?
How relevant is this article to happenings in present-day Nigeria? Only you the reader, can provide an adequate answer to that question.....
Dr Tosin Akindele is a Lagos-based medical practitioner, founder of Analytical Minds, good health advocate and social critic.