STUPID THINGS WE ENJOY DOING !!
In this life there are things we do that is pure stupidity ,but day in day out ,generation to generation we do same thing over and over again.
That shows that the world is moving and that human being is always a copy cat.When abormination is accepted in a society ,it become a norm and act as a law ..
Today i am going to look at what we do as inviduals that is outright stupid,you may agree with me or you may not ,but sit down and think it through and you will see na iberibe bu oria .........
[1]Recently in this our generation ,men do not get married because they have what it takes to be the head of the house.Majority of marriages are COMMUNITY and Friends effort.Marriage is suppose to be ,when a man is ready he will raise the bride price and make money available for celebrations that follows.
It is ulughu [never do good] that are been sponsored by the parents or brothers .But today 70% of marriages at least in my part of the world are been sponsored by friends .A man will want to have His own [not community marriage] and he will assemble friends and call them committee of friends and mandate them to raise fund that he will use to mark his wedding or traditional wedding.That alones shows that he is not matured enough to get married,it is friends that gave him a wife and he should not pat his chest to say "i am married" ,simply it should be "we are married"
That man will still go out tommorrow to say that "His wedding" was this and that ,what makes it his wedding ? ,such should be called committee of friends wedding, because the man did not afford to wed his own wife ,he sold the right of man hood to his friends .They married or wedded your wife for you and in that respect ,you are not suppose to boast of been married.
The essence of getting married is not to spend money like hell and later live like a pauper.We have to plan our wedding according to our purse ,not according to what friends can raise for us.If your friends raise you the money for your wedding or igba nkwu ,can they raise the one you will use to take care of the family ?.
If your wife wants a society wedding and what you can afford is a MORNING MASS or wedding without reception ,then better tell her that your weight is far less than what she expect you to lift,if she walk out because you cannot borrow money to give her a society wedding, that simply means ,she is not your wife in the first place.
If you borrow to wed her, be ready to borrow and take care of her or she will start visiting to get her private needs sponsored by those that sponsored her wedding,and she is not wrong because you married her with committee of friends effort.
What your friends can do for you is to attend your wedding and offer you gift in cash,material or just be present ,that is all.
Still on wedding ,some Men will sponsor some liabilities to attend his wedding ,especially those in Nigeria.You will charter Bus for them ,give them accomodation ,feed them for the duration and at the end of the day ,charter another bus that will take them home.........and i ask ....
what is the use for such madness ?,any person that cannot attend your wedding with self paid expense should not invited .Some will say that they came to witness ,but let me ask ,so if they do not come the wedding will not go on ?.
They are excess baggage and you do not need them to weight you down.If they want evidence, they can see pictures anytime they come to your house.Majority of the people you sponsored to come to your wedding will end up getting angry that you did not give them something to take home.Yes ,some will frown ,some will say that you did not want them to attend your wedding ,so what ?.....if they so much want to see your wedding they will come themself or send gift to show solidarity.
[2] FUNERAL:It is agonizing to see people using dead people for merchandise ,they use them to make money ,make parties and have a great ball and fun.
If you ask me it is sheer stupidity to celebrate the dead instead of mourning them.Are we celebrating them because they are going to Heaven or hell ?
Are we celebrating because the death has paved way for us to inherit the estate left behind by the departed.
What are we actually celebrating ? ,some went to the extent ot borrowing money to bury the dead and the living will live in bondage or debt.
The death is suppose to be mourned ,not to become a merriment purpose.
Imagine when we lost somebody ,whom ,in some cases we never took very good care of them while they were alive ,we went to extreme to give them a befitting burial.
While they lived ,we did not give them a befitting Dinner ,a befitting clothing or any other of the befittings but, once they drop dead ,it will become centre of spending.
Yorobas will sew asho oke ,Igbo will buy printed vest and abada to be distributed to kiths and kins ,while some of them has never talked with the death in the past 10 years.
We also waste so much money on Television,Newspaper advert and expensive casket ,just to please friends and show off on how we can spend money on stupid stuff while burying the dead.
Why can,t we package the money we waste on such and invest it on some neighbour kids who are brainy but dropped out of school because of lack of fund ?.
Why can,t we use such money to put food on the table of the very poor neighbour who are beliving the sky for daily bread ?.
Do we think that there is anything about befitting burial ? ,do you think the corpse will notice the kind of casket it was buried with ?.
Do you think advertising the death on all media houses will make the dead come back to life ?........
Time of Burial should be time to look at realities of life ,which includes that we are here for 3 days ,Yesterday which we have spent doing nothing ,today which we are spending thinking on how to conquer and tommorrow ,which is the day we MAY or may never see.
We should mourn with sorrows about our own life ,the life of the departed and it should not be time for clinking of glasses ,time for eating the best continental ,time for the best music ,time to show that we are well off...
It is time to mourn ,mourn and mourn.....
Some will go extra mile to acquire things because the Community demands such ,some kinsmen will demand cow because the late is a Chief or titled man .The solution to such demand is for the community to provide the cow or the jars of drink .
Some will tell you that your late father demand a cow according to oracle ,my answer is ,if your late father demands a cow ,he should tell you through the oracle where he kept his herds of cow ,so that you can take one from them and give him or where he buried the money that should be used to procure the cow and other stuff.
The truth is that the late has no choice or cannot create problem for the living,some of the time ,it is the village champions that wants to extract some pound of flesh from the children and they make demands that they cannot even afford.
I have not seen a dead body jump out from the grave because there was no befitting burial or because the burial did not take Bank loan to execute.
Then why do we waste fund that will make life better for the living to bury the dead ?...
Still on the stupidity of spending greatly to bury our dead,especially na alaigbo.
We call it burial ,and it is time to mourn and not to rejoice.
Burial is time to meditate on the life we spent on earth and not time to show imakwo ndi anyi bu.
Burial should be mourning and not celebrating ,unless somebody is very happy that somebody anwugo and wants to mock the dead.
Mgbe odi ndu inyele ya ole ? how much did you spend while the person is alive ?
In alaigbo today ,people stupidly spends millions to bury the dead ,and you ask to what purpose ?
One of my friend lost the Mom by tragic accident ,the woman was at the peak and it was a horrific dead,but to my utter suprise ,my friend spent over 2 million Naira on burial and i ask him ,what for ?.
Well he hired live music,cooling Van,assorted canopy,TV advert,Radio jingles,posters,selection of wines,uniforms,handkerchiefs,gifts and omechazie ya gini mee ?......back in a hole of great lost.
Meanwhile in his community and family ,there are children that dropped out of school for lack of finance,there are some of his brothers that need about 300K to come back alive in business.There is a sister that will be revived for 100k ,but abadolu all those pressing problem of the living aja, and delve into burying the dead with such a reckless and useless and extravagant amount.
The greatest gift you can give to your dead is to make sure that he/she will be laid to rest and some lives will be saved to honor the dead,,what i mean is ,instead to use such money to bury the death,why not take 5-10 students in your community and save them by sharing the money that would,ve gone for those wasteful ,by doing that you saved many lives and the dead will be remembered "asi na obughi onwu onyea, i would not have gotten so so and so" ,,but nay ,ndi igbo will go distance to outspend ,so that they will say ,he gave the parent a befitting burial ...my question is what is befitting burial in the first place ?I call it beffiting NZUZU !!
Some will even use all they had to conduct a burial and at the end of the day,they will be poorer than MOSQUE RAT,and what is the essence of those stupid and wasteful spending to impress your community ?
if your parents,wife brother or sister did not get his own share of your wealth while alive,it is stupidity to waste the same fund burying same.
Onye nwuo si buru lie and make life easier for ndi di ndu.
If you spend 1 million naira helping the poor in co-memoration of your departed ,that will be a blessed legacy that the living will become a witness that the death brought life to those left behind.
Same thing is applicable to some of us that spend like hell for igba nkwu or wedding and after they will be impoverised.Do not let your wife or inlaws coerce you into spending what you do not have ,because when all chips are down ,you will be the person ha ga akpo ngworo.
Unless our people learn how to cut our coats according to our clothes and not according to our size,because your size may demand 6 yards but what you have available home and abroad is 2 yards,what wisdom demands is to use the 2 yards and sow monkey coat.